So I’ve been wondering:What is the point of marriage?
Is it to be able to say we’re married?
That is to say we have one person in our lives with whom we reciprocally care enough to tie ourselves together?
Is it to share our lives with that person?
And if so, what does sharing our lives look like?
Is a shared life one of shared thoughts and ideas?
Shared efforts?
A shared home?
A shared bed?
Is the point of marriage to create a space within this world where we and our partner (and any children that come to us) can feel safe and welcome and valued?
Is the point of marriage to create a place within this world where our shared thoughts and ideas can take physical form?
In other words: what is the point of taking one relationship and raising it above all others to call it marriage? And what does that look like in practice?
I began to write a blog.
And then I realized how frightened I was of laying my world out for others to see.
I’m afraid of seeing my world on my own most days, but showing it to others for analysis and comment…
Well, that proved to be too much.
3 months have passed.
3 months of sinking back into the depression the blog was supposed to help me fight.
3 months of anger at my husband, getting irritable with my darling son, and hating myself.
3 months of wondering what the point of each day was.
The image of an overgrown rose patch comes to mind: brambles and thorns, twisted with strands of lovely weeds, and the brilliant hue of the few surviving flowers catching the rays of sun as it rises only to set.
I guess today is a sun rising day. And I must, absolutely MUST, make the most of its’ warm energy to begin working my way loose from these vines and thorns and overgrown paths.
Bear with me.
I need you.
